Posted by: colloquiallyspeaking | February 2, 2011

My Mother(in-law)’s Eyes

I was in the shower this morning, and instead of focusing on my personal hygiene, I was staring in utter disgust at the soap scum building up in the cracks between the tiles.

As I was folding laundry, I discovered new hot-spots for spiders, dust mites and unidentified crunchy objects.

Then my tiny everything room starting screaming out wretched cries of neglect.

My daughter’s room laughed cruelly, and refused to cooperate.

My head started spinning, my heart went into panic mode and my breath froze in the back of my mouth.

I suddenly forgot every single coping mechanism known to man.  So…I had a coffee and the rest of the chocolate waiting in the refrigerator.

Feeling a bit more sane, I thought about the predicament I had put myself in.

And I started in on myself.

What’s wrong with you, ma’am?  Do you really think she’s going to notice that?  And so what if there are toys around?  She knows you have children, hell, that’s why she’s coming!  And who do you think you are, walking around with those critical eyes……OH!

And there I had it.  I had taken on her eyes.

Well, let me rephrase that.

I had taken on the eyes I imagine she has, although there is no real basis to my assumptions and never any proof to back it up.

I decided that when one gets on a plane and flies across an ocean for the sole reason of meeting their latest grandchild, they are accompanied by critical eyes that zone in on every blemish that can be found in my bathroom, my bedroom, and of course, in me.

Yay me – a new low.

So Ma, I’m waiting here for you with my eyes completely blank, cause I sure ain’t gonna be trying on what I think are your eyes until I see them light up at the sight of your beautiful grandchildren and the wonderful home they live in.

Then I’ll be glad to see through my mother(in-law)’s eyes.

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Responses

  1. Great post! I wish I could show this to some people I know who wear dark-colored glasses every time they see M-I-L.


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