Posted by: colloquiallyspeaking | September 15, 2010

I’m Sorry If…

Well, it’s that time of year again.  A time of introspection, a time of change, a time of new convictions….and a time of meaningless phone calls.

“Hi….how are you?  Great…listen, I just wanted to call and say sorry for anything I might have done to hurt you…I hope you forgive me…have an easy fast…”


Yes, you did do something to hurt me this year, and after that measly attempt at an apology, I’m pretty confident you’ll do it again as soon as you get your head out of your machzor.

So please, if you’ve hurt me, don’t call unless you have the strength to state your case, wrongdoings and all, sincerely regret your actions and want forgiveness.

And for all those I have hurt, and there are many, if I don’t call you it’s either because I don’t think I did anything wrong or because I’m a coward.  So forgive me my weaknesses, and if you have any room in your heart, pray that I get the strength to face my demons.



  1. That’s one of my pet peeves too. When people that have hurt me suddenly wake up erev yom kippur and apologize, but the context is so wrong. It’s not because they are truly sorry and really will make an effort to correct it from here on, but because they want forgiveness and as you said, once yom kippur is over, will resume their behavior.

    Sincerity, People, sincerity.

    Wishing you a g’mar chasima tovah.

  2. Some people really DO mean it when they call on Erev Yom Kippur… they just don’t have the guts to call until push comes to shove and Yom Kippur is looming ahead.
    Don’t knock people asking for mechilah.. It may be you one day, hiding under the cover of a blase gmar chasimah tova call.

  3. Soul Comfort, it really depends how it comes out. When it’s a nonchalant “Are you mochel me?” before they hang up the phone, it doesn’t mean much. If someone really hurt another person, I think they should acknowledge it and verbalize it specifically.

  4. i’m ok with people only having the guts to call now…and i freely admit that the reason i don’t apologize is because i’m stubborn, a coward and sometimes just plain vindictive………however, i don’t believe in trying to slip an apology in without acknowledging the wrong done. my first response to an ‘i’m sorry’ is ‘for what?’
    another thing – i can handle a sincere ‘i’m calling to ask you to please forgive me…etc’ that implies that you know you did something that requires my forgiveness…but ‘i’m sorry IF i did ANYTHING to hurt you’ just doesn’t make the cut…

  5. If it will hurt the person even more if you tell them what you said/did against them, and if whatever you said or did against them is finished and done with, i don’t think a person should say what they’ve done.

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