Posted by: colloquiallyspeaking | August 13, 2010

The Courage to Change the Things I Can

G-d,
Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

For a several years, I ended every day with the Shema, the Lord’s Prayer and the Serenity Prayer. I understood the words of Shema, and held on to that tradition, despite throwing away everything it said to keep sacred. The Lord’s Prayer made sense to me, as it spoke my language, literally, and was a basic supplication for daily sustenance. The Serenity Prayer completely alluded me. I spent many nights holding hands with my fellow AA members, chanting the words with a smile and following them with hugs, coffee and lots of lewd jokes. I thought it was just a formality, and it ended up in my nightly routine as habit.

Last night, I did something that changed me.

It took courage and a special dose of well-placed impulsiveness. Ironically enough, it also took a glass of wine.

I made a phone call that I thought I couldn’t make. It was difficult, and I had to go to a place in my heart that I don’t usually visit, a place of love, acceptance, and letting go. I don’t even know if there will be tangible results from the phone call. I only know how I feel.

I’ve always held strong to the conviction that I do not need to put myself in a vulnerable position if I am in the right and have done all that I can within my comfort zone to make things better when there is conflict. Now I feel that yes, as a human being that is all that I can aspire to do. However with a special courage granted to me by G-d, I can overcome so much more adversity and live a happier life.

The courage I received to do what I did wasn’t going to change the situation, but it did change me. That’s all I can change anyway, and it was the first time in my life that I felt the results immediately. I am so grateful for all those years of prayers finally coming together and bringing me one step closer in my quest to be closer to G-d.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. The Serenity Prayer is one of my favorites. I never even thought of it as a prayer, but as an inspiration and a lesson how to live life, in a nutshell.

    And btw, this post came at just the right time. I needed to read that. So thanks…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: