Posted by: colloquiallyspeaking | June 30, 2010

Boys vs Girls

Hi, so what’s the decision about coming here?

Oh, I cancelled the reservations.


Because we don’t plan for a baby.

Yeah, I know, but you said you would come either way.

Right, when you have the baby I’ll book my flight.

And the rest of the family?

Well, if it’s a boy, maybe we’ll all come, we can’t decide that now.

I know what it is.

Right, but we don’t plan before the baby gets here.

Ok….well promise me you’ll come either way.

Well it’s just a matter of when I’ll come.  Depending on what it is.

But I need you to come to HELP me right away.  You came last time when the baby was six months old!

That was different.

Because she’s a girl?

No…well…I don’t know.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

I spoke to your mother the other day about who’s going.

Oh?  You were planning on coming?

Well, it depends what it is.

What do you mean?

Well, if it’s a boy, I want Ta to go.

And if it’s a girl?

We’ll see.

So, if it’s a girl, no one is rushing to see her?

No, it’s just different.

No it’s not.  What’s the difference between a kiddush and a bris, in terms of the simcha?

Oh, well a kiddush can be something really little.

Not the party Ma, the simcha aspect of it.


Is there less joy if it’s a girl?

No…I don’t know…I don’t think so…of course not!

Riiiiiiiiight…got it.  Thanks.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Hi little one.  I know you can hear me.  I’m sorry about last night, we thought it was fun to shine a flashlight in your eyes and feel you react.  That wasn’t very nice of me.  I’ll try not to show you off too much, although it’ll be hard to control myself.  I can’t wait to see you, to hold you and to kiss you.  You’re big sister is also very excited to meet you.  She’s a girl, but that doesn’t matter because when she was where you are now, I promised her that I would love her unconditionally.  And I am promising you the same thing now.  That means that it doesn’t matter if you have a bris or a kiddush, or a bar or bat mitzvah.  It doesn’t matter if you become a chassan or a kallah, or if you become a mother or a father.  I will be there for you, whatever it may be.  Because I love you.  Unconditionally.  And you know what?  Hashem loves you the same way too.  I know it’s not going to look that way once you get here.  I know that there are going to be other people in your life who will judge your worth by your gender, but Hashem is like your mother and father.  He doesn’t care what other people think, say or do.  He knows, like I know, that you are worthy of His love, unconditionally.



  1. Is this Chinese culture you’re talking about? :-/

    At least you appreciate each child, regardless of gender.

  2. Well to be fair, girls do seem to have an advantage later in life, when parents seem to take their side in arguments and fights with their brothers. At least that’s how it is here.

  3. HS -it seems like Jewish culture came first…my husband says there’s something in gemara saying that when a boy is born there is joy…no mention of a girl
    David – don’t get me started on the boy/girl issues and family dynamics……….let’s just leave it at working towards a future where love is doled out equally

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