Posted by: colloquiallyspeaking | April 22, 2010

The Art Of Taking

Sometimes, the music stops and you find yourself without a chair.

Our music stopped.

I’m having a hard time with the changes I’ve been forced to make.  I can no longer do the things I love to do.  I can no longer have people over and give freely.  I not only can’t help outsiders, I can’t even help my family.

It’s hard to feel inadequate and incapable.  It’s hard to swallow pride.  It’s hard to ask.  It’s hard to be on the bottom.  It’s hard to take.

I think I understand something a bit better now.  I know that the original sin was the catalyst for the curse of ‘by the sweat of your brow’.  I always understood that to mean that man now has to work to put food on the table, and in a way, that is the curse.  However, life has given me a different perspective on it.  You see, having to work for my bread never felt like a curse to me.  My husband and I both enjoyed our work and felt fulfilled on a daily basis.  Sitting down to eat food as a direct result of the work that we did felt great!  The ‘sweat’ was something we were embracing happily.

Now we have to beg other people in order to have food on our table.  We feel shame as we ask, and even more shame as we eat.  This is truly a curse.  Having to eat the food someone else worked hard to earn feels like something unnatural.

When I think into it more, I see a lesson for all aspects of life.  How many other things do I take for granted?  How many times do I attribute accomplishments to my work by my hand?  Can I be honest with myself and acknowledge that I have never really worked hard for anything I got?  Can I say that nothing is truly mine?  Can I see Who really does the work?

Submitting myself to a level of acceptance is hard.  I need to learn the art of taking, and only then will I be able to take all that the Ultimate Giver wants to give. 

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